Until you came around....
I used to watch the news sssooo much. I'd start the day with the morning news...well part of the local and part of the national. I'd get home in time to catch some of one national, the full other nation and one local news....yeah I was a total junky.
Then you came around. Not only do I not want to waste the time it's also so much harder to listen to the horrific stories. Lately there have been so many crimes against children, one was so horrible, I had so much anger and sadness built up I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night, my heart broke in a whole new way for the child that died. You have already changed my life love, my news addiction has been replaced by you, time with you and your smiles. I couldn't be happier!
Love-
Momma
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Fear and Parenting Decisions
Liam,
If there is one thing (other than loving you without condition) that I can promise you it's this: I will not parent you out of fear. What I mean is this, too many parents [in my opinion] make parenting decisions based on fear. Such as; I'm afraid circumcise, not circumcise, vaccinate, not vaccinate. Fear leads their decision making process.
I will not do that. I will do my best to research and educate myself on topics on your behalf (until you are old enough to have input), I will put a lot of thought into these choices. I will seek out opinions that I respect and trust and pray hard before doing what I think is in your best interest.
As much as I love your dad, this is responsibility that rests solely on my shoulders, at least for now. Perhaps when you are older he'll be more active but for the most part it seems I lead the way.
Which is why you were circumcised, and today you had your first round of vaccinations. Neither appointment was easy, it's not fun to see you cry or be upset and scared but it's what we believe is best for you.
Love you Baby Boy,
Momma
If there is one thing (other than loving you without condition) that I can promise you it's this: I will not parent you out of fear. What I mean is this, too many parents [in my opinion] make parenting decisions based on fear. Such as; I'm afraid circumcise, not circumcise, vaccinate, not vaccinate. Fear leads their decision making process.
I will not do that. I will do my best to research and educate myself on topics on your behalf (until you are old enough to have input), I will put a lot of thought into these choices. I will seek out opinions that I respect and trust and pray hard before doing what I think is in your best interest.
As much as I love your dad, this is responsibility that rests solely on my shoulders, at least for now. Perhaps when you are older he'll be more active but for the most part it seems I lead the way.
Which is why you were circumcised, and today you had your first round of vaccinations. Neither appointment was easy, it's not fun to see you cry or be upset and scared but it's what we believe is best for you.
Love you Baby Boy,
Momma
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Responisbility
Dearest Liam,
I've been thinking a lot about the new responsibilities you've brought into my life. There are many, they are vast and complex...and I would not trade them for anything this world has to offer!
Sometimes I stand looking at you while you sleep and I'm a bit afraid, how will I ever accomplish all these responsibilities? How will I teach you to be kind and loving, how will I ever teach you all you need to know about God, how will I ever potty train you??? LOL! I know I am not alone in these duties but as your mother I consider it the most important thing I will ever do in raising you. I likely won't ever have a Ph.D or be a CEO but I will always be your mom. I will always, always, always do my best for you no matter the cost.
So forgive me when I screw up ever now and then, we are both learning at the same time after all, but I promise you I'm doing 110% everyday, all day.
I love you,
Momma
I've been thinking a lot about the new responsibilities you've brought into my life. There are many, they are vast and complex...and I would not trade them for anything this world has to offer!
Sometimes I stand looking at you while you sleep and I'm a bit afraid, how will I ever accomplish all these responsibilities? How will I teach you to be kind and loving, how will I ever teach you all you need to know about God, how will I ever potty train you??? LOL! I know I am not alone in these duties but as your mother I consider it the most important thing I will ever do in raising you. I likely won't ever have a Ph.D or be a CEO but I will always be your mom. I will always, always, always do my best for you no matter the cost.
So forgive me when I screw up ever now and then, we are both learning at the same time after all, but I promise you I'm doing 110% everyday, all day.
I love you,
Momma
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Milestone: Rolling Over
Hi Baby,
I want to write this down before I forget it! You rolled over for the first time, I wasn't there....you were with Grandma Patty (and Grandpa Randy and uncle Brandon). Grandma felt horrible I missed it but I didn't, I'm so glad you are meeting your milestones! I know you will do things for the first time while I'm away from you and I'm ok with that, I know you will do them again so I don't fret over it. Just try to say your first word around me (and try to make it Ma-ma ok?).
I'm so proud of you, especially considering you hate tummy time so much! Good job my love!
Always Yours
-Momma
I want to write this down before I forget it! You rolled over for the first time, I wasn't there....you were with Grandma Patty (and Grandpa Randy and uncle Brandon). Grandma felt horrible I missed it but I didn't, I'm so glad you are meeting your milestones! I know you will do things for the first time while I'm away from you and I'm ok with that, I know you will do them again so I don't fret over it. Just try to say your first word around me (and try to make it Ma-ma ok?).
I'm so proud of you, especially considering you hate tummy time so much! Good job my love!
Always Yours
-Momma
Thursday, August 11, 2011
One Set of Grandparents
Dear Liam,
Some children have two sets of grandparents, some more and some less. You have one set of grandparents on your Dadda's side. They love you to the moon and back, they prayed for you before we knew you were coming and asked God for you. I don't want you to think you lack love because you only have Dadda's parents because you don't. We have so much more family that love you so very much. You see family isn't always related by blood, sometimes people you love you are your family even though you don't share the same blood line.
You have so many aunts and uncles that aren't blood family and these people love you far more than you will ever know or understand. I want you to know that. Love has no boundries and isn't restricted to just those directed related to us. You are allowed and encouraged to love many people as family! In fact I hope you are a very loving, caring person. I pray that God's love burns inside of you and you show that to the world.
I love you, more than I'll ever be able to explain,
-Momma
Some children have two sets of grandparents, some more and some less. You have one set of grandparents on your Dadda's side. They love you to the moon and back, they prayed for you before we knew you were coming and asked God for you. I don't want you to think you lack love because you only have Dadda's parents because you don't. We have so much more family that love you so very much. You see family isn't always related by blood, sometimes people you love you are your family even though you don't share the same blood line.
You have so many aunts and uncles that aren't blood family and these people love you far more than you will ever know or understand. I want you to know that. Love has no boundries and isn't restricted to just those directed related to us. You are allowed and encouraged to love many people as family! In fact I hope you are a very loving, caring person. I pray that God's love burns inside of you and you show that to the world.
1 Corinthians 13:3 "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
I love you, more than I'll ever be able to explain,
-Momma
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Feeding You
I'm not sure how you will feel about this later but I want you to know you were breastfed. I worked hard, and I'm still working hard to provide you with this...gift? I don't think it's really a gift but a right, since I am able you deserve it. There is nothing wrong with formula feeding your child but I promised myself I'd try to breastfeed you and if I was able I'd do it as long as I could.
It's a nice having that time with you. Your dad gives you the first feeding of the night so I can get some extra sleep, thankfully we've been able to give you mostly stored breast milk that I've pumped while at work (this is also what you eat while at A's during the days I work). During the night I get up with you, I change you and feed you. You snuggle close to me and eat and it's really rewarding to me. I let you eat as long as you want but always try to make sure you eat for at least 10-15 minutes so you'll sleep for a few hours until your next feeding.
Some women seem to think they are super hero's because they breastfed their babies, I do not. I'm just your mom, doing what I believe is best for you. Breastfeeding isn't easy for all women, and it's not easy for me but I've decided to work at it and do it as long as I can. I want you to know I've put significant effort forth for you on this because it is what I believe is whats best. I'm always working to do what is best for you, even when it's hard or you don't like it...like being burped, you really don't like that. :)
I love you Liam, I always will!
-Momma
It's a nice having that time with you. Your dad gives you the first feeding of the night so I can get some extra sleep, thankfully we've been able to give you mostly stored breast milk that I've pumped while at work (this is also what you eat while at A's during the days I work). During the night I get up with you, I change you and feed you. You snuggle close to me and eat and it's really rewarding to me. I let you eat as long as you want but always try to make sure you eat for at least 10-15 minutes so you'll sleep for a few hours until your next feeding.
Some women seem to think they are super hero's because they breastfed their babies, I do not. I'm just your mom, doing what I believe is best for you. Breastfeeding isn't easy for all women, and it's not easy for me but I've decided to work at it and do it as long as I can. I want you to know I've put significant effort forth for you on this because it is what I believe is whats best. I'm always working to do what is best for you, even when it's hard or you don't like it...like being burped, you really don't like that. :)
I love you Liam, I always will!
-Momma
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
I Will Love You for You
I so loved being pregnant with you Liam. I would rub my belly and talk to you no matter where we were, I would sing to you in the car. You were my constant buddy and I loved every moment. During my pregnancy there was a popular song by JJ Heller "Love Me", it's a rather sad song that talks about wanting to be loved for who you are. I would sing the song to you and often cry happy tears because I will love you for you. I promise you no matter who you are you will always be loved and supported. My love for you will never be conditional, you will never have to earn or work to keep my love for it is freely given.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Momma has to work....
Hello My Love,
Today I returned to work, in fact I'm still there, thankfully my day here is about to end so I can rush to you and scoop you up in my arms and shower you in kisses!
I wish I didn't have to work, at least not full time anyway. Years before your Dadda and I starting trying for you we decided to stay in our town so when you did arrive we could raise you around Dadda's family. This was no small decision because earning a living here is not as easy as it would be elsewhere even with a college education. The quality of life here is good, we love the outdoors; hiking, camping and all of that. It is a beautiful place, you will come to know that. And I wouldn't trade raising you surrounded by family for anything but it was (and is) a sacrifice.
So I have to spend my days away from you. Today I drove the few miles to drop you off with A who watches you. I cried trying to talk to you during the drive, then cried as I handed you off to her and cried as I drove away. We are so blessed to have A watch you, she is a sweet woman who will love you like her own grandchild but it's still hard on Momma nonetheless. I'm lucky to enjoy my coworkers despite not loving my job, this has made the day move quickly. That and A has sent me several text messages letting me know you are enjoying your day. I can't wait to hold you and kiss on you, Dadda may have to make us dinner so I can get in lots of snuggles tonight!
I hope you know I never wanted to spend this time away from you but I did it because it was best for you. Because I work we have great health insurance, we are able to save to have family vacations and some of this money will be set aside so we can help you with college (I'd really like it if you went to college!). I love you and I hate this time apart but I wouldn't do it if it weren't for your best interest, please always know that.
Love Momma
Today I returned to work, in fact I'm still there, thankfully my day here is about to end so I can rush to you and scoop you up in my arms and shower you in kisses!
I wish I didn't have to work, at least not full time anyway. Years before your Dadda and I starting trying for you we decided to stay in our town so when you did arrive we could raise you around Dadda's family. This was no small decision because earning a living here is not as easy as it would be elsewhere even with a college education. The quality of life here is good, we love the outdoors; hiking, camping and all of that. It is a beautiful place, you will come to know that. And I wouldn't trade raising you surrounded by family for anything but it was (and is) a sacrifice.
So I have to spend my days away from you. Today I drove the few miles to drop you off with A who watches you. I cried trying to talk to you during the drive, then cried as I handed you off to her and cried as I drove away. We are so blessed to have A watch you, she is a sweet woman who will love you like her own grandchild but it's still hard on Momma nonetheless. I'm lucky to enjoy my coworkers despite not loving my job, this has made the day move quickly. That and A has sent me several text messages letting me know you are enjoying your day. I can't wait to hold you and kiss on you, Dadda may have to make us dinner so I can get in lots of snuggles tonight!
I hope you know I never wanted to spend this time away from you but I did it because it was best for you. Because I work we have great health insurance, we are able to save to have family vacations and some of this money will be set aside so we can help you with college (I'd really like it if you went to college!). I love you and I hate this time apart but I wouldn't do it if it weren't for your best interest, please always know that.
Love Momma
Monday, August 1, 2011
Hello My Love
My Sweet Liam,
Today you are 6 weeks and 6 days old, yet it feels like you've been part of everyday of my 28 years. I love you more than I can express with mere words, which is the reason for this blog. I want to write to you over and over, tell you stories so that one day if I don't remember these details they will be here for you to discover.
If I can tell you just one thing it's that you are so loved, first by Jesus and secondly by momma and dadda. You have a huge network of people who love you, some are family by blood and some are not but they all love you just the same. Your dadda and I prayed for you, we begged God for you and hoped for you for so long, you are an amazing miracle that we thank God for daily.
You are the happiest little guy I've ever met, you only fuss when something is wrong (gas, dirty diaper or hungry). You smile and make the best little noises, you love to snuggle and don't mind strangers at all. There isn't much you don't like! It feels like you are growing like a weed yet you still fit into your newborn clothing. You are so handsome, everyone comments on what a beautiful baby you are!
I'll write more soon my sweet love, right now I'm going to go snuggle you!
-Your Momma
Today you are 6 weeks and 6 days old, yet it feels like you've been part of everyday of my 28 years. I love you more than I can express with mere words, which is the reason for this blog. I want to write to you over and over, tell you stories so that one day if I don't remember these details they will be here for you to discover.
If I can tell you just one thing it's that you are so loved, first by Jesus and secondly by momma and dadda. You have a huge network of people who love you, some are family by blood and some are not but they all love you just the same. Your dadda and I prayed for you, we begged God for you and hoped for you for so long, you are an amazing miracle that we thank God for daily.
You are the happiest little guy I've ever met, you only fuss when something is wrong (gas, dirty diaper or hungry). You smile and make the best little noises, you love to snuggle and don't mind strangers at all. There isn't much you don't like! It feels like you are growing like a weed yet you still fit into your newborn clothing. You are so handsome, everyone comments on what a beautiful baby you are!
I'll write more soon my sweet love, right now I'm going to go snuggle you!
-Your Momma
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