Glorious Sleep

Liam,

You are an incredibly child, my dear!  Just last week your dad brought up that he wanted to start some sleep training with you (you were still waking once per night to eat).  I didn't think your current routine was a big deal since you are only six months old and after a discussion we agreed we would pick up a book and go from there (translation Mom would pick up a book, read it and relay it to Dad).  However the CIO (Cry it Out) method is just not for us, period.

Well your mom is a busy lady and didn't find the time to get that book but guess what?  You started sleeping through the night all by yourself!  The last two nights in a row you have been asleep before 8pm and woke up between 6-6:30am.  I know two nights isn't a lot to go on but you enjoy sleep so I'm pretty sure it will stick.  You are amazing and I love you!!!

Your Proud Momma

Your First Christmas!

Dear Sweet Liam,

Can it really be?  Your first Christmas has already come and gone, it seems impossible but it's true you are trucking right a long!  What a special time it was!  Christmas started off with a new tradition; on Christmas Eve morning it was just you, me and Dadda!  We slept as long as you would let us (about 8:30am, not bad) and when you woke up we all enjoyed some breakfast then opened presents!  Remember that Santa brings stocking gifts and Momma and Dadda bring the rest ;)  You were more entertained with the crunchy tissue paper than the real gifts but that is ok by me!  After a nap and some lunch we headed off to Church and had dinner with G'ma, G'pa, Auntie Kristen, and Great-G'ma Turkey, it was so much fun that you feel right asleep!

Christmas morning we all rose early, I prepared a baked oatmeal and Dadda got you ready and before we knew it we were off to G'ma and G'pa's house to spend the whole day!  It was a fun time full of presents, laughing and lots of family time with the whole extended family! You favorite gifts are for the bath, they made you laugh and laugh! I hope I always remember how the simplest thing filled you with joy!  Before we knew it the whole day was gone again and it was time to head home, all of us needed rest.

You are such a happy boy, I know I'm always saying that but it's so true!  I'm so wildly blessed, beyond anything I could deserve, by getting to be your mom! 

I love you so very much!
Momma

6 Month Stats

Dear Sweet Liam,

Today you are 6 months and 6 days old, where has the time gone?

As of Dec 15th you are:

Weight:17.6lbs this is between the 25th and 50th percentile (on track)
Height: 26.5 inches this is between the 25th and 50th percentile (on track)
Head measures in 75th percentile, nurse says you have "big brains" LOL!

You have mastered sitting up alone and love to stand, you babble all the time and crawling is just on the horizon!  You are the happiest, sweetest little boy in the whole world!  You eat "food" twice a day and as Nanna says, you LOVE food! This week you are having green beans and you really enjoy them, they may be your favorite so far!

Recently you met Santa and did this: (no fear at all, perhaps you had already submitted your request list?)

Christmas Songs

Dear Liam,

Last night as I finished up dinner you and Dadda were playing in the living room and listening to Christmas music.  Dadda rarely, if ever, sings so I was humming along as the songs played.  I could hear you babbling to Dadda as if singing to him, then the sweetest thing happened; Dadda starting singing to you very softly....my favorite Christmas song (Come All Ye Faithful).  I just stood there soaking in the moment realizing this is a special memory in the making.  I cherish these fleeting moments, I hold them close and pull them into my heart for safe keeping.

Happy Half Birthday My Love!
Momma

Heartbeat

Liam,
This is so true.
Love,
Momma

(source)

Giggles

My Funny Liam,

Last night after work we ventured off to one of my friend's house for dinner, she so enjoyed holding you that she barely ate the dinner she made for us, it was delicious!  The three of us chatted for a while before you and I had to venture home, you were getting sleepy and even fell asleep in the car to and from her house.

We arrived home and I accidentally woke you as I tried to gently slide you out of your car seat.  I tried to skip your solids so you could sleep (opting for a bottle instead) but you'd have none of it!  I offered you some squash (your second food for the second day in a row this week) and you looked at me like I had tried to feed you dirty feet but still ate it! I laughed and laughed, which did nothing to calm you down before going to sleep.  After some bites of dirty feet squash we snuggled in your rocking chair listening to the rain sound on your white noise machine.

Sitting there, rocking you...listening to you jabber on and on while swing one arm wildly I couldn't help but giggle to myself.  You fill my life with so much joy, even when I'm exhausted and I know you need sleep I love our time together.  It didn't take too long before you drifted into slumber and I snuck out of your room after just one more kiss.

You are so special, so important to me, I'm already proud of you and I vow to always (always!) love you and support you no matter what my funny boy!
-Your Momma

Butterfly

Hello Liam,
Although I didn't plan it this way you are always surrounded by many people.  Nanna, who watches you Monday-Thursday, also watches her 2.5yr old grand-daughter and a child about 4 most days of the week...not to mention the many people who live with Nanna.  Then on Fridays G'ma and G'pa have you, Great-Grandma Turkey lives with them and Uncle Brandon and Aunt Kristen....a full house for sure.  At least once a week you and I end up out with some of my friends, either at their home or out socially (we love walking the mall).  I didn't plan it this way but I'm pretty sure you will end up being a social butterfly and I love it!

Spread your wings my beautiful butterfly boy, always know I'm your safe place to land!
-Momma

November

Hi Sweet Liam,

As your first November comes to a close my heart swells with joy as we approach your first December!  November was so fun and oh so busy; it saw you roll from back to belly for the first time and have your first [semi] solid meal of rice cereal, you also saw your first snowfall and had your first Thanksgiving AND had a sleep over at G'ma and G'pa's house!  The time it is a flyin'!

I so enjoy feeding you, you knew right away what this spoon business was all about, you took your first "bite" and there has been no turning back!  In fact after just a week of rice cereal I think you are ready for some veggies so I'll attempt to make your first batch of baby food tonight!  I'm betting you'll enjoy just about anything! 

You are growing like mad, in just two weeks you will be six months old and I bet it will be just about then that we'll need to pull out your 6-12mo clothing!  I can hardly believe this day has come!  I remember buying you those clothes while still pregnant and feeling like that day was so far away!  I can hardly believe I've been so blessed as to hold you in my arms and love on you for the last [almost] 6 months!  Your six month appointment is just about two weeks away and I can't wait to see how much you weigh (but truth be told I'd rather skip the shots, those are never fun for either of us!)

Back to rolling over from back to belly, you did it that one time [at home in front of both Dadda and I] and haven't fully since.  Not that I care too much I think it's so funny when you get all twisted on your side and stay there.  It doesn't seem to bother you at all, you can look at whatever you desire (mostly the tv or dog lately...I'm constantly moving you from looking at the tv).  You are so great at tummy-time, you can easily hold your big head up and look around, you recently started pulling your knees under your body (while digging your face into the blanet), I wonder if you will crawl soon, I'm not sure.  You tolerate your stationary jumper in small doses as long as you have something to put in your mouth, boy are you a drooler!  I thought for sure you'd have teeth by now but I'm happy to report none have made an appearance.

You don't have a favorite toy, you seem to prefer your Dadda or I making faces, talking and/or walking with you which is fine by us!  You'll chew on any toy but stuffed animals just aren't your thing.  You love books and really enjoy being read to which fills my heart with joy!  You do love lights though, any old light will do, even the ones in our bathroom!  It's so funny to watch your little head turn to check them out!  This morning when I dropped you off with Nanna she had her tree up but bare aside from some white lights (not even the twinkle kind) and you were in love!  You stared and stared!  Maybe Dadda completely and I will get one last real tree just to watch your love on them this winter.  (Next year probably brings a fake tree to our home).

These last six months have been the best of my life, you fill my heart and our home with so much joy!  I can't imagine loving you more but then a new day starts and I find myself so much more in love with you!  This is the most important thing I'll ever do, being your Momma and loving you!
-Momma

First Thanksgiving

Beautiful Liam,

Right now you are resting peacefully in your crib, tomorrow you will arise to a brand new holiday; Thanksgiving.  I know this year it won't make much sense but it's my sincere prayer that in the years to come you will understand and enjoy this holiday.  Each year we are surrounded by family, food and so much love.  We have so much to be grateful for each day, you are at the top of that list.  You are so very loved and I am above all thankful I get to be your Mom, it's the most important thing I will ever do.

With all my heart,
Momma

Milestone: Rolling Back to Belly

Sweet Liam,

You have been on the cusp of rolling back to belly for some time, the weekend before last you and I spent forever on the floor, I was so hoping I'd get to see you do it first...but you didn't, you weren't ready.  It was then that it occurred to me that I am not that strong, not strong enough for you to experience all your firsts with someone else but it's a reality that I must work.  Over last week I asked Nanna and G'ma not to tell me if you reach your milestones for the first time in front of them, they both happily agreed.

Then this weekend arrived and we were joyfully playing on a blanket on the floor, Dadda was even there.  We were all just enjoying our time together and ya know what happened?  You rolled back to belly!!!  I was so happy I shouted and scared you a little, whoops!  Just thinking about it I tear up, I'm so happy to be there to witness your milestones!  You will be crawling before we know it (you already tuck your legs under you when doing tummy time, you just need some upper body strength)!

I love you and I love being your Momma!

Time Flys

Hey Sweet Boy,

Wow time is flying, tomorrow you will be 5 months old!  Wow!  You are such a sweet and happy boy, I hope you are always that way, I'll do whatever I can to ensure you are!  You are so close to rolling over from your back to your tummy!  I tried so hard to get you to do it all weekend, I want so much to see you hit these milestones for the first time myself. 

Some firsts are all mine, we got you a bouncer you can stand it...your a little too little for it my peanut baby but you seem to enjoy it in small doses.  Just Dadda and I got to experience you in it for the first time (for the record Momma assembled it!). 

It was such a nice weekend, why do they have to be so short?  Seems the more I enjoy them the faster they go.  I'm not ready for it to be Monday, I'll have to take another day off soon to spend with just you.

I love you to the moon and back-
Momma

Nothing Better

My Sweet Liam,

I know I've spoken of this before but I want to share my favorite thing with you.  Cuddling.  You are at a phase where you don't love to cuddle like you once did and that is ok because you still love it when you are sleepy!  You snuggle close and press into my chest as you slowly drift off to sleep, each and every time you do this I think to myself "there is nothing better than this."

I hope you always know that I love being your Mom, there is nothing better.
-Momma

Holidays: Halloween

Sweet Liam,
Tomorrow is your second holiday (your first was the 4th of July) and while it's not my favorite it sure has new meaning now that you are here.  Tomorrow I have a "My First Halloween" onesie for you to wear during the day and a body suit with glow-in-the-dark bones for the evening when we get trick-or-treaters.  Next year we'll dress you up as something fun and maybe go out to a few houses.  I so look forward to everyday but especially days like this, the memories are beyond priceless. 

Until morning, sleep well baby-bones! Momma loves you!

The Great Outdoors

Oh My Funny Liam!

Your personality is beginning to show and I love it!  One of the first things I've noticed is that you love being outside, loooooove it!  Unfortunately we live in MT and fall is rapidly approaching (and Fall is rather cold here).  Our walks are far and few between, which if you could speak you would probably voice your discontent with this!  You love being in the stroller looking at all the trees and the sky!

A snow storm approaches our city....hello winter 10-27-11

Like I mentioned it's already getting rather cold, for example when I left you with G'ma to go to work this morning it was....29 degrees.  Ek.  But never fear Momma adapts!  We spend a fair amount of time standing at the window (or various windows) so you can peak out at the people going by or the dog or the beautiful leaves that change color everyday!  It breaks my heart that it gets dark so early now (6:30p) and I fear for the snow fall, will you still love to look outside when everything is a shade of white?  Guess we are about to find out!

I love you and I hope your love of the great outdoors only continues, I'm praying winter away already!

You are My Love!
-Momma

Funny Memories

Hey My Liam Bug,
I wanted to write this down before I forget!  You are already the funniest little guy!  Not only do you have the best smile and an infectious laugh but your silly!  You like to hide behind your lovie (a peek-a-boo of sorts) but recently you started talking jibber-jabber but only when your hands are in your mouth (you still love to suck on your index finger!).  Sometimes you wake in the night for a bite to eat, after I put you back down you'll start jabbering to yourself and even let out a long sqweeeeaaaaak!  It's hard for Dadda and I to not laugh too loud (as long as your content we leave you for a few minutes, you often talk yourself back to sleep). You are such a happy little fella, you make even my worst day wonderful!

You are my hearts joy Liam, I love you more than you will ever know!
Momma

Milestone: Holding Your Own Bottle

Hi My Love,
Well you reached another milestone this week, yesterday while at G'ma and G'pas (I was at work) you held your bottle for the first time!  G'ma sent me a picture message, I was so proud and slightly jealous that you achieved another milestone in front of her for the first time.  It's ok though, I know how much you love me, that is what matters.

Always Your Momma

Sweetest Moments

Hi My Love,
I wanted to take a moment while you nap to reflect on something I so enjoy.  It's those moments, when I'm holding you and you are just about to fall asleep.  You almost always look up me and smile as your blinks become longer and longer as drift into slumber.  Then the moment comes when you are asleep, at peace and in rest.  It's really beautiful.  Some people say you aren't supposed to hold babies until they fall fully asleep but I just can't help myself.  As a working mom I often find myself thinking "I just don't get that many moments like this."  Typically it's at the very end of the day, after your bath, one formula bottle of the day and story time...we're in the rocking chair, I just sit there allowing myself to soak in the moment.  I secretly enjoy when you won't go to sleep immediately and we just sit there looking at each other, smiling and rocking.  I know the days you will fit in my arms are numbered and I was to soak up as many of the moments as I can and store them away in my heart.

I love you so
-Momma

Brown Eyes

Liam-
This is solely for my memory but I swear you were born with brown eyes.  At very least they were steal blue/brown.  Why do I mention this?  During my pregnancy I'd tell everyone I want you to look like your Dadda with olive skin, dark hair and medium blue eyes.  You were born exactly as I imagined you except you have my eyes, as much as I hoped you would have your Dadda's eyes I truly love that you have my eyes.  Well actually I think your eyes are a tad darker than mine, yours are officially a deep brown and so beautiful!
Your Brown Eyed Momma

Making Memories

My Liam-
You are growing so quickly!  You smile  a lot and it's adorable, when you smile really big you stick your tongue out, it makes me laugh which makes you laugh!  You also "talk" all of the time, it's the best part of my day to hear you tell me stories (or when you really get going I call it singing to me)!  I can't recall exactly when you found your hands but they are your favorite thing ever, you chew on your index fingers all the time and it's hilarious!
Something else I want to remember is I think you might be left handed, you seem to use it more and have more control over it than your right.  Not that I care but I think it's neat and wonder if I'll be right.
Overall you are a very happy baby, you enjoy your nightly baths but hate tummy time with a wild passion!  You don't seem to know the dog exists just yet, she however is well aware of you (and seems afraid of you) LOL!
There is more I'd like to write but it's late, your asleep and I'm pooped, more to come soon my love!
Always your-
Momma

Your mom used to be a news junky

Until you came around....
I used to watch the news sssooo much.  I'd start the day with the morning news...well part of the local and part of the national.  I'd get home in time to catch some of one national, the full other nation and one local news....yeah I was a total junky.

Then you came around.  Not only do I not want to waste the time it's also so much harder to listen to the horrific stories.  Lately there have been so many crimes against children, one was so horrible, I had so much anger and sadness built up I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night, my heart broke in a whole new way for the child that died.  You have already changed my life love, my news addiction has been replaced by you, time with you and your smiles.  I couldn't be happier!
Love-
Momma

Fear and Parenting Decisions

Liam,
If there is one thing (other than loving you without condition) that I can promise you it's this: I will not parent you out of fear.  What I mean is this, too many parents [in my opinion] make parenting decisions based on fear.  Such as; I'm afraid circumcise, not circumcise, vaccinate, not vaccinate.  Fear leads their decision making process.
I will not do that.  I will do my best to research and educate myself on topics on your behalf (until you are old enough to have input), I will put a lot of thought into these choices.  I will seek out opinions that I respect and trust and pray hard before doing what I think is in your best interest.
As much as I love your dad, this is responsibility that rests solely on my shoulders, at least for now.  Perhaps when you are older he'll be more active but for the most part it seems I lead the way. 
Which is why you were circumcised, and today you had your first round of vaccinations.  Neither appointment was easy, it's not fun to see you cry or be upset and scared but it's what we believe is best for you.
Love you Baby Boy,
Momma

Responisbility

Dearest Liam,
I've been thinking a lot about the new responsibilities you've brought into my life.  There are many, they are vast and complex...and I would not trade them for anything this world has to offer! 
Sometimes I stand looking at you while you sleep and I'm a bit afraid, how will I ever accomplish all these responsibilities?  How will I teach you to be kind and loving, how will I ever teach you all you need to know about God, how will I ever potty train you??? LOL!  I know I am not alone in these duties but as your mother I consider it the most important thing I will ever do in raising you.  I likely won't ever have a Ph.D or be a CEO but I will always be your mom.  I will always, always, always do my best for you no matter the cost.
So forgive me when I screw up ever now and then, we are both learning at the same time after all, but I promise you I'm doing 110% everyday, all day.
I love you,
Momma

Milestone: Rolling Over

Hi Baby,
I want to write this down before I forget it!  You rolled over for the first time, I wasn't there....you were with Grandma Patty (and Grandpa Randy and uncle Brandon).  Grandma felt horrible I missed it but I didn't, I'm so glad you are meeting your milestones!  I know you will do things for the first time while I'm away from you and I'm ok with that, I know you will do them again so I don't fret over it.  Just try to say your first word around me (and try to make it Ma-ma ok?).
I'm so proud of you, especially considering you hate tummy time so much!  Good job my love!
Always Yours
-Momma

One Set of Grandparents

Dear Liam,
Some children have two sets of grandparents, some more and some less.  You have one set of grandparents on your Dadda's side.  They love you to the moon and back, they prayed for you before we knew you were coming and asked God for you.  I don't want you to think you lack love because you only have Dadda's parents because you don't.  We have so much more family that love you so very much.  You see family isn't always related by blood, sometimes people you love you are your family even though you don't share the same blood line.

You have so many aunts and uncles that aren't blood family and these people love you far more than you will ever know or understand.  I want you to know that.  Love has no boundries and isn't restricted to just those directed related to us.  You are allowed and encouraged to love many people as family!  In fact I hope you are a very loving, caring person.  I pray that God's love burns inside of you and you show that to the world.

1 Corinthians 13:3 "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

I love you, more than I'll ever be able to explain,
-Momma

Feeding You

I'm not sure how you will feel about this later but I want you to know you were breastfed. I worked hard, and I'm still working hard to provide you with this...gift?  I don't think it's really a gift but a right, since I am able you deserve it.  There is nothing wrong with formula feeding your child but I promised myself I'd try to breastfeed you and if I was able I'd do it as long as I could.

It's a nice having that time with you.  Your dad gives you the first feeding of the night so I can get some extra sleep, thankfully we've been able to give you mostly stored breast milk that I've pumped while at work (this is also what you eat while at A's during the days I work).  During the night I get up with you, I change you and feed you.  You snuggle close to me and eat and it's really rewarding to me.  I let you eat as long as you want but always try to make sure you eat for at least 10-15 minutes so you'll sleep for a few hours until your next feeding. 

Some women seem to think they are super hero's because they breastfed their babies, I do not.  I'm just your mom, doing what I believe is best for you.  Breastfeeding isn't easy for all women, and it's not easy for me but I've decided to work at it and do it as long as I can.  I want you to know I've put significant effort forth for you on this because it is what I believe is whats best.  I'm always working to do what is best for you, even when it's hard or you don't like it...like being burped, you really don't like that.  :)

I love you Liam, I always will!
-Momma

I Will Love You for You

I so loved being pregnant with you Liam.  I would rub my belly and talk to you no matter where we were, I would sing to you in the car.  You were my constant buddy and I loved every moment.  During my pregnancy there was a popular song by JJ Heller "Love Me", it's a rather sad song that talks about wanting to be loved for who you are.  I would sing the song to you and often cry happy tears because I will love you for you.  I promise you no matter who you are you will always be loved and supported.  My love for you will never be conditional, you will never have to earn or work to keep my love for it is freely given.

Momma has to work....

Hello My Love,

Today I returned to work, in fact I'm still there, thankfully my day here is about to end so I can rush to you and scoop you up in my arms and shower you in kisses!

I wish I didn't have to work, at least not full time anyway.  Years before your Dadda and I starting trying for you we decided to stay in our town so when you did arrive we could raise you around Dadda's family.  This was no small decision because earning a living here is not as easy as it would be elsewhere even with a college education.  The quality of life here is good, we love the outdoors; hiking, camping and all of that.  It is a beautiful place, you will come to know that.  And I wouldn't trade raising you surrounded by family for anything but it was (and is) a sacrifice.

So I have to spend my days away from you.  Today I drove the few miles to drop you off with A who watches you.  I cried trying to talk to you during the drive, then cried as I handed you off to her and cried as I drove away.  We are so blessed to have A watch you, she is a sweet woman who will love you like her own grandchild but it's still hard on Momma nonetheless.  I'm lucky to enjoy my coworkers despite not loving my job, this has made the day move quickly.  That and A has sent me several text messages letting me know you are enjoying your day.  I can't wait to hold you and kiss on you, Dadda may have to make us dinner so I can get in lots of snuggles tonight!

I hope you know I never wanted to spend this time away from  you but I did it because it was best for you.  Because I work we have great health insurance, we are able to save to have family vacations and some of this money will be set aside so we can help you with college (I'd really like it if you went to college!).  I love you and I hate this time apart but I wouldn't do it if it weren't for your best interest, please always know that.

Love Momma

Hello My Love

My Sweet Liam,
Today you are 6 weeks and 6 days old, yet it feels like you've been part of everyday of my 28 years.  I love you more than I can express with mere words, which is the reason for this blog.  I want to write to you over and over, tell you stories so that one day if I don't remember these details they will be here for you to discover.
If I can tell you just one thing it's that you are so loved, first by Jesus and secondly by momma and dadda.  You have a huge network of people who love you, some are family by blood and some are not but they all love you just the same.  Your dadda and I prayed for you, we begged God for you and  hoped for you for so long, you are an amazing miracle that we thank God for daily.
You are the happiest little guy I've ever met, you only fuss when something is wrong (gas, dirty diaper or hungry).  You smile and make the best little noises, you love to snuggle and don't mind strangers at all.  There isn't much you don't like!  It feels like you are growing like a weed yet you still fit into your newborn clothing.  You are so handsome, everyone comments on what a beautiful baby you are!
I'll write more soon my sweet love, right now I'm going to go snuggle you!
-Your Momma